7 Months: Child Care :(

I'm in serious desperate need of child care options.

Yesterday, Andre went on a milk strike. I wouldn't have been bothered if not for the fact that this boy is already at the 10% and not having a healthy growth rate. He remained stagnant at 8kg over the past 2 weeks :(

Fed 80ml at 8 am. And no more milk was taken at po po's place all the way till 9.15 pm where he took 150ml and 11pm where he took another 150ml at home. Luckily for the 2 milk feeds at the end of the day. Otherwise, i can really cry. Well, meanwhile Andre managed 2 bowls of solids amidst tremendous difficulty as feedback by popo.

Andre, being a fussy eater, needs to be slowly coaxed to eat. Any bit of urgency, he'll reject food. If he's in the midst of exploring or play, you can totally forget about feeding/drinking. He'll protest and wriggle out of your arms, very determined to continue what's on his mind. You cannot raise your voice, you cannot be gan chiong. That will make him further resistant.

Po po, on the other hand has 5 other grandchildren to look after. And she's coming 69, where got time and energy for her to be following up with Andre all the time? And it's really unfair to her. It's her retirement age where she should be doing things that relaxes her and makes her happy and carefree and not bogged down the responsibilities of child care.

If my Andre is old enough to speak, i will not hesistate to send him to full time child care or leave him alone with a maid. At least he can speak up for himself. But now he obviously can't, and as such i can only leave him with my mum.

But things obviously are not working out. Both po po and gong gong are very very tired. Who wouldn't be with a fussy baby and 5 thundering kids running amok the house all the time. Much much reluctant as i am, i think its time i consider leaving my baby home alone with the maid. We just can't be forever pushing our babies/kids to my parent's place.

Someone mentioned to me before, that it is of absolute selfishness to push your kids to the grandparents to look after. They are your kids, not theirs. They should be enjoying the grandchildren and not be reponsible for their welfare. God forbids, if anything were to happen, do you want your parents to live in guilt forever.

Now this phrase is constantly ringing in my mind. It simply makes sense. If you want to make kids, you are responsible, not your parents.

I can only pray now. Dear God, please send me a very good trustworthy helper with a good heart. I don't need my house to be in tip top cleanliness and tidiness. Just be able to take care of my child well, be patient with him, feed him and keep him happy. I am in desperate need of an angel. I will harden my heart to consider leaving my child home alone with her.

If not for the lack of infant care options now (all are fully booked, !!! *BIG SIGH*) hopefully in a short while, i can just leave my maid and baby home alone. It's time to free up my mum even if others are not willing to do so.

I hate to type all these out. But this is the current situation. Life is not all rosy as all the entries in the blog are. I am soo sooo sooooo vexed now (not to mention, tired as well).